Toe Stretchers

Essential for tight toes - seriouslyI know, I know. They sound completely ridiculous - but you'll have to prise these from my cold, dead hands, for they are amazing.

I know, I know. They sound completely ridiculous. Here’s the thing, though: I don’t know about you, but I’m the opposite of what’s called ‘mobile’.

This means I struggle, despite years of yoga and Pilates, to touch my toes. I can’t even point my toes without going into spasm; people who are hypermobile go on to become contortionists, and people who are hypomobile go on about how difficult it is to touch their toes.

Not many people seem to understand this. Take, for example, the yoga instructor who wanted to know if there was ‘a good reason’ why I couldn’t perform a simple stretch with the same ease as everyone else. I gave her my best ‘because it’s physically fucking impossible, bitch!’ look, which took special effort as I was doing Bikram yoga at the time, and everyone’s faces look like that to some degree.

And speaking of Pilates, I’ve come to love doing it on the Reformer (the discerning bougie twat’s torture rack). Doing standing exercises on the frame, (e.g. with one foot on the foot rest, the other one on the moveable carriage) or exercises with my feet in the straps, cause my feet to go ‘oh, HELL no’, and into painful spasm.

My feet are incredibly inflexible, and the toe stretchers have helped open them up massively. They’re satisfyingly thick and rubbery little things, which slide on around your toes, like the ones you’d get to help your toenails dry afetr a pedicure – but much more effective. You wet them, slide them on, and then you, you know, just chill. Cotch. Jam. Whatever. You can wear them in the bath or shower, and I like to slip them on after a run.

I’ll talk more about being hypomobile, and why this isn’t a bad thing for running necessarily, another time…

Get a pair of Toe Stretchers here.