Never ones to shy away from shockingly shit and surreal imagery (sorry, that kind of thing is not my thing), they continue on their merry mission to bitchslap the outer limits of logic and language with this offer:

In addition to abiding the mortification of being buried by dogs and then dug up again by interfering archaeologists, skeletons are grouchy because they lack the muscles necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your body for granted with today’s Groupon: for £33 body armour will be enlightened with a choice of Elemis Facial whilst muscles soothed with one of two massages at Cleo Clinic.

Aching bodies and weary skin-chassis’ can find solace at this high-end Elemis-accredited establishment, where the aim is to share their passion for bone-appeasing happiness with like-minded clients on the look for unrivalled solace.

And they have a guide to help them write like this

*kills self*